Spring Is For Swearing

The tiger reclines in the simmering jungle.
The sparrow has silenced her cheep.
Fuck your stuffed bear. I'm not getting you shit.
Close your eyes. Cut the crap. Sleep.

What a perfect gift for new parents!

The flowers doze low in the meadows
And high on the mountains so steep.
My life is a failure. I'm a shitty-ass parent.
Stop fucking with me, please, and sleep.

It's created quite a bit of buzz. Samuel L. Jackson signed on for the audiobook and NPR weighed in with this piece.

The giant pangolins of Madagascar are snoozing
As I lie here awake and weep.
Sure, fine, whatever. I'll bring you some milk.
Who the fuck cares? You're not gonna sleep.

I was re-inspired by this book after Evan's sister, Heather, fell in love with the concept and I saw it featured on the font of all goodness-- Liza Howard's doozie of a blog.

The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest
And the creatures who crawl, run, and creep.
I know you're not thirsty. That's bullshit. Stop lying.
Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep.

Sweet f-ing dreams.