Monday, October 16, 2017

Week 37

Hands-on parenting? An inbound reality at 273 Amoretti Street... any day now for the next five weeks. Such a bizarre concept for us to wrap our heads around.

I can't breath much, eat much, or move much, but it seems like the baby and I are right on schedule in that regard.

Thank heavens for all the support and guidance we've received. I have a whole new level of appreciation for the concept "it takes a village"-- so many books, so much gear, so many words of wisdom.

Here are some go-to parenting phrases that came across my radar recently (parenthood being a world that, let us remember, is wholly theoretical for me at this point):

"I am sorry you're upset. At the same time, I can't let you hurt your cousin." rather than "I am sorry, but I can't let you do that pitifully misguided thing."

"I need you to get dressed, please." rather than "Let's get you dressed before hell freezes over."

"I see two children who want the same toy." rather than "If you stole that toy, you are your father's child."

"Tell me about your drawing." rather than "What an incomprehensible, yet oddly compelling picture."

"I love listening to you play piano." rather than "Nice job on that abstract piano piece."

"What do you think you could do to make your friend feel better?" rather than "Go apologize, punk."

"How can I help you understand this homework?" rather than "I can explain that to you, my poor lamb."

"What I know is there were three cookies on this plate before I went to the bathroom." rather than "Not true, you guilty little monkey."

"Help me understand what happened." rather than "How in god's name did poop get all the way up there?"

"I'm sorry I lost my temper." rather than "Let's agree that the last five minutes never happened."

"Thank you for cooking dinner." rather than "The chicken is a little dry."

"I love you, kiddo." rather than "I rue the day I met you, sweet child o' mine."

Seems pretty straightforward.

Friday, October 6, 2017

I Don't Even Know

This fucking administration.

I just... [words fail].

Monday, September 25, 2017

Respecting Boundaries

(click on pic for music)

I really appreciate these thoughts on how to teach a child about consent.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Llama Llama

God love Ludacris. Father of three on a tear. May his next album be pure board book lyrics.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017


Shower gel, conditioner, and shampoo are to a spa as bread and bathroom are to a restaurant: the real test. 

Friday, August 25, 2017

Game On

Winter is coming.

After this Sunday, it's roughly another million years before we get our next fix of Game of Thrones. 

So many feelings... 

All the feelings...

Et tu, Night King? 

At least we're in this together, GoT fans.

Monday, August 21, 2017

The Path Of Totality

I was wary of the solar eclipse. The human spectacle was far outweighing the natural phenomenon for me as the event approached. 

Then I heard Dr. Jill Tarter speak and she put the eclipse in cosmic perspective. Then totality itself blew my mind.

As the moon's shadow barreled towards us at nearly 2,000 miles per hour, the temperature dropped around 22°F. Darkness fell and we saw solar flares reflected on the surface of the water. Moments later, "dawn" broke and fog formed over the rushes as swallows came out in force to hunt insects.

Not nearly as impressive, but worthy of note nonetheless were the sheet cakes available at Mr. D's to honor the occasion...

and the coloring contest to win a shrink-wrapped gift basket full of eclipse beer, tootsie rolls, markers, and a coloring book.

Just as quickly as the eclipse came and went, the predicted apocalypse passed us by.