Thursday, October 21, 2010


Thanks are due to Dr. William Roth, MD for adding the modesty patch. That was clutch.

So what's the story?

I'll tell you.

In the process of packing for this climbing course he's on right now, Evan was sorting through the contents of his costume box. He mentioned that he'd always wanted a superman suit.

Well, that got me thinking...

With the help of Riley Hopeman, Esq. (a spandex guru of sorts and Evan's co-instructor), I began browsing the internet.

Riley showed me his go-to site, Running Funky, but they didn't have any superhero stuff so we turned to Google. A search for "superman unitard" brought us to Spandexman, where we found a wealth of crime-fighting outfits. I ordered Evan a medium.

Done and done.

Later that day, Yost asked me to show her the suit online and I typed in Spandexman and went to the front page of the site.


The customer gallery made my eyes bulge out (and I shouldn't use the word bulge here). I will never look at spandex the same way again.

Simply put, I did not know Spandexman was a gay fetish site.

Curtis rolled his eyes at me when I told him this and wondered out loud why the Ambiguously Gay Duo hadn't tipped me off.

All of which would have been mildly traumatizing --but nothing worthy of note-- had I not just ordered Evan a suit which I now feared would be unwearable in public due to what it revealed.

So the question remains:

Is Superman any match for the corrupting powers of Spandexman?

I have hope. I mean Superman's wholesome, isn't he?

He saves damsels in distress from burning buildings ALL THE TIME in a skin-tight unitard without coming across as skeezy.

I have to assume that Evan can do the same for 5.12 sport routes.

And now for a movie trailer...

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