Lander-Talk

Let's be clear:

That's Shane holding in his hands a UNICORN TEACUP.

He found it on Lander-Talk, our town's craigslist alternative. I wish I could capture the depth and breadth of Lander-Talk's brillance, but where to even begin? The hand sanitizer man scare of 2009?

Oh, and Shane didn't find just one teacup. He found EIGHT! That's EIGHT TIMES the magical powers!

Here are some Lander-Talk oldies but goodies from the archives of Karly Copeland:

Subject: [LANDER] Barbie house-5 unit condo- $25

I made this Barbie House for my daughter by buying two WalMart bookcases and assembling them with one in front of the other (using only one back).

6' tall

2' deep

30" wide

It has five floors in it, plus the top. Walls are decorated with attractive wallpaper. Floors and exterior are dark oak vinyl.

The reason Santa needs to give your kid this Barbie House is so all that doll stuff can fit in one area in your house on a footprint of only 24"x30". If you can't relate to why this is important, you don't need this super-Barbie-condo.

Condo comes with free Barbie Limo and Minivan, both low mileage and garage kept but may be missing doors or other parts.

Subject: [LANDER] Electric sewer snake needed

Ah yes, MERRY CHRISTMAS townsfolk!

Let us share our exciting Christmas Eve with all of you via the item we are seeking.

We have a plumbing extravaganza happening and are looking for an electric snake to borrow, rent, but preferably not buy.

We have enough social graces to refrain from calling our favorite Roto Rooting fellow on Christmas Day, but if we could get our hands on an electric sewer snake (for a six inch sewer pipe) we could show ourselves and the relatives what Christmas in Wyoming is really all about.

Subject: [LANDER] Found: turtle

Are you missing a high-speed escape artist?

We found a large (5") box turtle on our yard near the intersection of South
7th and 9th streets. Has interesting Batman-like markings on its shell.
Responds to the name "Usain Bolt."

Subject: [LANDER] Bear traps for sale

One Denili size 14 about 2ft long with teeth $400 or best offer. guns
Winchester 25-20 in good shape long otegon barrel $2000. Elk Antlers Big 6x6
rack on skull plate 50 inches wide scores 385 BC $1400 . 6x6 elk rack $200 .
Also 350 BC elk full skull mount $500

Subject: [Lander] Looking for a husband

Hello Lander,

I'm hoping you can help me out with something. I know it's a little unusual, but I thought I'd use Lander Talk to help find myself a husband. I'm tired of living on my own without someone to come home to. Here are some of the guidelines I'm looking for:

- Tall (I'm 6'1/4")
- Not bad looking
- Ability to dance, speak multiple languages, and cook a plus but not critical

What you can expect:

- A tall lady (see above)
- Not bad looking
- Good sense of humor
- I work out of town for part of the year, and I'm not super needy

I'm willing to pay $700. Interested folks can respond to this e-mail. Thanks, Lander!